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Mar. 6th, 2014

Evil plans...are good.

So yeah. . . . WOW.

The last couple of months have been a roller coaster.  I decided late last year that I would attempt to get into the University of Washington.   I had enough credits to transfer....I even got my ducks in line with my old transcripts.   Crazy thing happened a couple of weeks ago.  I got in.

I am not a UW Husky.  a Dawg if you will.  It's been nuts.  I loved how subtle the acceptance letter was.  A huge envelope that had "YOU'RE IN" plastered all over it.  Weak kneed I managed to get through the rest of the process to confirm my spot.  I've seen my councilor, I've registered.  I even have my husky card.  WOOT!

Now it's the nervous wait to find out what my employer will do.  My plan is to flex my schedule so I can work and go to school for both the spring quarter and summer.  This will give me the chance to knock out the last class I need for my program and also to take a Spanish 102 class that I'm lacking.  Go fig. . they require 2 years of language.  I have 1 year of French, 1 year of Spanish.   Booo.

So yeah. . there we go. . . I am in a university, and if I'm to believe my councilor, applying to the program is just a formality, I am on my way to being an Engineer.

Go me.

Now I just need to survive the rest of this quarter.  Java programming is being a slight pain in my ass.

Apr. 30th, 2013


Summer. Land of plenty?

My thoughts are elusive tonight.

I have a clear case of fukitol tonight. Nevertheless, my mind is racing in many directions. Too many projects, and I have no clue what to start on first.

Stuck as I am here night after night doesn't help, but today I got news that in June that will change. I got a day shift.

The unicorn man. . . the unicorn. I haz it.

Dayshifts at the state level are crazy hard to come by. 2 weeks ago I heard that the sergeant was moving on over to a different department. Which left the whole shifting ish that is our HR's interpretation to the state union contract. I'm all for unions when it involves protection from getting bumped and mandatory pay raises, but when it comes to an unruly mess with a simple shift change. . . . it's the pits.

But . . . 10 days of stress and I gots me a dayshift. Go me.

I can now have a social life that doesn't involve me missing work or sleep.

School will be interesting, but I will have to cross that bridge when I have to burn it down.

At least this will give me the time I need to finish projects. I find that I really lack any desire to do anything before work. Doing anything after requires sleep deprivation. Something that I'm more than willing to do, but I have come to a realization: I am not in my early 20's anymore.

It's sucking to get old.

But, once more into the vortex right?

at least right now I'm content to just get caught up on my web comics. My paychecks are an awesome way to pace myself. Sure I just dropped X$ on my 5 stepper motors. . . can I drop a bit more on my printed bed? Do I really need to eat? My cats can go without a bit of kibble right? ;)

Nah . . things aren't that bad. It's really nice not having to live paycheck to paycheck. It will be nicer having evenings off. Moving to a new state. . . easy. . . having the time to actually build a social life from scratch when you're stuck working graves or swings. . . omg so frigging crazy hard.

It's taken me 6 years, but I've just now gotten to the point where I've gotten a steady in person table top game going. I'm running it again, which is really not my preference, but I'm taking the group while I can. I'm soo happy I have it. . . and even more so that the people that are in it don't make my brain ouchy. The IRL games that I've had up here have been a mixed bag of . . . oh. . . you're fun to play with . . to. . . dude. . . your feet stink, and Imma bout to punch you for taking too damned long with your turn.

So between a new D&D group, trying to get my prusa mendel reprap working (I got the frame and stepper motors on the way). . also trying to get my pandaren monk costume ready for the Penny Arcade Expo In late August ready . . . I'm a busy mofo.

But at least I made Angie smile with giving her the news that I will be on dayshift.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.


Apr. 6th, 2013



Day 84: do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

That is entirely subjective.   When you're mourning. . . crying is strenght.  When your heart is broken, crying is normal.  When you're crying about math being hard.  That's total weaksauce.

Apr. 3rd, 2013


Are we there yet?

Dear Self,

 Crack open a book and get to work on the electrostatic homeowork that's been collecting dust.  Oh. . . you don't have your text book?  You have the PDF.  How about the Integration & differentiation revicew homework that ass hat gave you?  You could work on that?   No. . . don't go to hulu. . . Put the netflix down. . . no. . don't touch that superman novel. . . and FFS. . don't log into Minecraft/WoW/SimCity.
So you're hungry?  Didn't you just down a half a bag of beef jerky?  Nice try bucko. . . :cracks whip:  get back to work.

- Nico.

3rd quarter into the year that i decided to go full time school and work.   Oh boy. . . . it's been great!  (smell the sarcasm).  Honestly been floating close to burn out.  How do I know this?   Well. . . back in 1999, I did hit burn out.  Burn out badly.   Don't get me wrong, a lot of things fell into place pefectly to land me where I am right now.  But I still look back and wonder what would have happend if I stuck with this the first time around.

12 consecutive math classes.   Good god.  I used to brag that I could do Calc 2 in my head.   these days I love it when i get a simple integral problem. 

My engineering physics coursework hasn't been kind to me.  I'm able to get it done, but it's been taking a lot more effort than it used to take to pick something up.  I'm no longer in my early 20's.   Age is a bitch and i'm only 32!  lol.  Still.  I am doing well for myself. 

Still got a great job. . . actually getting paid to update this journal.. . tee hee.  Angie got miffed this year while doing our taxes.  Apparently I make more than she does after 6 years of school.  She's not complaining too much as I take care of most of the household needs while she battles here student loans.  I just find it funny that we'll be done with her loans, just in time for mine.

I should be done with my associates this year.  Then it's the holy mother of hell application process to get into the University of Washington (UW)'s electrical engineering program.   At least once i'm there, it's a swift 2 year process.  but getting there will be a tough sell.  But I have to admit that the Computer Engineering and Systems program at the UW - Tacoma branch is starting to look a lot more attractive.   The requirements are the same as the EE program. . . but Computer Engineering just sounds like it's more aligned with my end goal of robotics. 

Choices . . . Choices. . . bleh.


Day 83: if you had to teach something, what would you teach?

I find myself hitting a brick wall.   I've never really been in a position where I've had to teach.  When I learn I don't follow a set of rules, I'm a tinker.  So even though I know bits and pieces of several different things. . . I don't really have a solid foundation to have the capacity to teach anyone anything.

I guess that's a product of living in my own head a lot of the time.   In my mind I have several comic strips already rendered with the blender models that have been collecting dust.  I have 3 or 4 stories that are fully though out, but not nailed down on paper.  I have a fledgling MMORPG in the works and is currently being fleshed out in my mind. . . But to tell the truth, If I could teach one thing, it would be how to be a blacksmith.   The metal. . . the fire. . .  the sound of hammers is something I have always found amazing.  So there you go. . . blacksmithing. . something i've read at lenght, but have never actually been in a position to actually do.

Aug. 24th, 2012


Ahh. . . The "how much of a goody goody" Are You Question.

Day 82: would you break the law to save a loved one?

With how broken the system is.  Yeah.  I would have no qualms of totally going postal if it meant that those few I care about would be safe.

I'm sure there is a limit to what I would do, but right now I can't think of it.  Come to think of it, right now, I'm just pretty bored out of my skull.

Had a fun convo this morning.   My goal is to shut down, and avoid stupid for the next few weeks.


Jul. 18th, 2012


I have that grumpy feelin...

Can I just go back to bed? Waking up and having the frustration convo again really ends up giving me a fuckitol attitude. I just have to take things one day at a time. It's almost time for PAX. So there is a white tunnel.

In the short run...I have been trying to keep myself stimulated due to my classes this summer not really doing it for me. Started work on the steam punk broom again..actually making good progress..and a few knitting projects. The constant progress on my leather armor is ongoing...slow since I want to have it be some of my best work. Every time I get the omg a grind, sloppy feel...I just stop. I am currently at 192 lamellar plates cut out...I calculated...math!.. I will need 342. I will need another cow. Which sucks since there is no local supply. I wonder if I can get gallant to buy and ship me up another if I send him the cash....after all he started it...:)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.


Jul. 16th, 2012


Bleh! Tis Bleh I say!

Hind sight is always clearer than at present. My class schedule is filled with long gaps that I find just odd. My schedule up until recently has been a constant motion that the luxury of just pausing is just plain creepy. Maybe its the student population?

This summer I find myself in the CIS building. Techies few right? ....not so much. Mostly it's been like going to school with a bunch of AOL members...nice people mind you, but lacking that edge.

Maybe it's just the CID 109 class I am taking. Human dimensions in the work place...the class description sounded like a class on memos, but most of the material has been a disjointed classification on diversity. Oh! Also on the 5 love languages that couples express love with. Yeah...not thrilled. But whatcha gonna do huh?

So yesterday I hit up Seattle with Angie and Boink. He's as grumpy as ever... We ended up going to a costume shop. Lots of awesome little bits. Many new ideas for projects... we did come up with a way to make a latex mold of my face so I can go back to making leather masks...this time the right way.

The old maska I made never really came out right due to using a saber tooth tighter bust instead of a human head,,,:)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.


Mar. 29th, 2012


Creativity. . . wth?

So lately I've been getting urges to get back into the SCA.   Which is odd.   I've not really thought of activly playing in a very long time.   My armor was lost to mold. . . . I've not picked up a sword in ages.  

I'm sure it's partially due to the fact that I'm missing my third estrella in a row.   That is far too long.   Usually I miss one year, but rarely two. Never have I gone three.  This year the lack in going was a mixture of not having anything prepared. . . not wanting to deal with the logistics of flying out and then having to find out way to war.   Mostly also the main reason. . . not really having anyone to camp with.   The more I thought about it. . .the more willing to cave in to the popular consensus to do something else.

Comic Con.   Phoneix. . . . soooo there.   YAY.

In the mean time, I think I will actually see about getting my armor cut out and assembled.    I'm finding that cutting out 13 oz leather is a pain in the ass.   Gonna try and whip out the dremel tool and see if I can slice it up that way.  I tried the razor blade approach and I did about 30 plates before my hand gave out.   Go POWER TOOLS!

day 80: one of your favorite childhood memories
Up until recently, my favorite memory was of my step-father giving me my first computer.   That birthday gift based my entire career goals and current skill set.   I thought he was making a kid's dream come true.   It made my friggen day.   Best birthday ever!   It was recently that he told me that the only reason he got the puter was so that he could have a way to control me and take it back for punitive reasons.   It was a control collar.   That kind of left a bitter taste.

Jan. 6th, 2012


Where did the morning go?

Gah. . . have to make this quick and dirty since my morning just flew by. . . . I find  myself feeling dirty about trying to be productive before I have to go to work in the morning.. . . go fig.

day 78: would you rather people be honest with you, even if it’s something not good, or lie to you to make you feel good?

It really depends on  the day and how I feel.   I am a flake.   No doubt about it.  If I'm doing something wrong, I want people to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how to fix it.   But if I'm just told that I'm not doing something someone's preferred way, I become very critical and tend to resent it.  All in all, I welcome honesty and criticism when I'm prepared to expect it.  Otherwise, expect silent seething and resentment. . ^_^

Jan. 4th, 2012


Did I Forget to Fasten My Seatbelt?

  The last 3 weeks have been rather crazy.   I cut off the 365 thing due to lack of time and or net access at work.   At least that's what I kept telling myself.  Mostly it was due to a deep deep funk.   Dead end job. . . endless classes in sight.  You know the drill.  I dived into WoW or anything that would just make things go away.   

Lack of any desire to create was just collateral damage.

This happens a lot with me.  I think it's mostly the fear of being criticized for any project I pour my energies into.  Maybe a self defense mechanism to deter from piling more shit on?   


The holy shit moment of getting the new job and sleeping at night regularly hasn't worn off.   Actually been working on some projects that have been neglected up until this point.  Among that my writing.  I need to get back into the habit.  As I don't have any desire to write all the entries I've missed since July, I think I'll just go with this.

 day 77: what gives you every day inspiration.

Every day inspiration is a hard thing to come by.  Now that I've actually had to think about it.  I suppose it's in the simple pleasures.  From the way the morning fog smells.  To how my morning cup of tea feels in my hands.   I may have to add to this as the day goes.  I've got to actually pay attention.  

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